look how we've grown

It's been three years since my last post but we're going to pretend like a month or two has passed and this is just a normal post, shall we? [Cue fast-forward noise]

Alright, here we are. COVID happened. That was fun, eh? Not like it's over, but we're all sufficiently jacked up now. And hey - we learned a lot, right?! Good stuff. Lots of growth. Lots of therapy bills. Lots of...yikes. 

I managed to stay sober throughout that absolute shitshow and I feel like we in the sober community should get double the time count for that. Because working at home while homeschooling two kids with two other kids at home while also going to school was a very dark time in my life, people. You want to talk about survival of the fittest; there were a lot of people in my household who almost didn't survive me. 

AND YET; it is 2022 and we came out of the dark tunnel, if not cautiously, stronger and better people. We learned a lot about ourselves and each other, which I never expected out of a pandemic. 

I think my one-word theme for the pandemic would be growth. Our family grew in so many ways; both as a unit and each of us individually. None of us is perfect, nor will we ever be; but the work that we've done and continue to do to live our best lives blows my mind. 

Looking back to where we were when we started this adventure six years ago, we were a raging mess. A rolling dumpster fire. Today we have downgraded to sizzling pile of garbage. A tidy one. We're cleaning up and are semi-orderly! Still messy, but figuring out how we can work together to delve through the pile of poo. 

I can't say I'm thankful for a pandemic because that would be horrible and believe it or not, I do have some lines I won't cross. I will say, however, that I am thankful for being forced to harness our strongest selves at a time when we didn't think we could go on any longer. There were days I didn't think I could do it anymore, but somehow I just...did. 

Strength comes in different forms for different people and I found that waking up and brushing my teeth or taking a shower during those times - that was showing strength that day. Telling someone that I was not okay - that was showing courage. At the time I saw it as just regular things I had to do that day, but now, as I have grown - I see them as feats of strength during a time when I could barely get out of bed. 

Today I am happy, healthy, and content. I have stressors and messes around me, but I have ways to cope. I have voices telling me what I'm doing wrong all day long, but I have others telling me not to listen. I have 20 items on the calendar for the week, and I have someone to help me get through them.

To unburden oneself is to grow. And that is what I am learning to do.

Until next time - mj