6 things I learned after I quit drinking

Drinking is coveted and celebrated in today's culture. Which is why I think it's so damn hard to quit. Alcohol is EVERYWHERE. 

And people love it. The "I can't live without it, my life would never be the same," type of love.

I know this, because I was one of those people. I still am, to a certain extent. Most days I still have moments where I have to convince myself that my life would most certainly not be more fun, cool, interesting or less stressful if I had a drink in my hand. 

The 12 steps are not something I read daily or preach to others, but there are a lot of valuable things to learn from them. Similar to the fact that I'm not religious, but I do believe that the bible has a lot of amazing principles we can all abide by. 

The first step was crucial in my process of becoming sober. You know, the one everyone always jokes about? 

"The first step is admitting you have a problem."

Really, the first step reads:

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."

Notice the difference?  This is the hardest to accept when you're holding on so dearly to your nightly glass(es) of wine. Alcohol has POWER over me. And it does. It's an abusive relationship; a partner whose goal is to make you feel really good, and then subsequently ruin your life. 

So once I accepted this - once I figured out that I had to get out of this "relationship" before my dickhead partner took my life away - I could move on. It was time to figure out what life was like without a drink in my hand. 

Here are the 6 things I've learned since I quit drinking:

1. Awkwardness

Oh, the awkwardness. What is the deal?? Guys, I quit drinking, I didn't murder someone. It's not that big of a deal. I get that people see it as a sickness, but I see it as the opposite. I am no longer sick, I am no longer at risk of ruining my life. I also see a therapist. I'm also on depression medication. It's okay. This is all in an effort to keep me sane and happy. So don't worry about it. It's not that bad. I still like to think I'm pretty damn fun, sarcastic, and worthy without wine in my system. I'm much less of an asshole, this much I am sure of. So let's just move past it. Nothing to see here. 

2. It's EVERYWHERE

You can't escape it. Pinterest was a freaking nightmare for me at first. I used to follow tons of cocktail boards and people who pin cocktail recipes and everything cocktails. I have since tried to weed out those boards and hidden enough ads that my feed is finally starting to look like a sober one, but it took a while. Let me say this again: you can't escape it. Liquor stores are still there, billboards, internet ads, bars, restaurants; there's no way to get away from it. So I have learned to adapt and roll with it. Try to ignore it. Take a different route. Look away quickly. Scroll down like you saw a disgusting picture. Just keep swimming!

3. Better Sleep

Never have I slept better in my life. Ever. I used to wake up probably 10-20 times a night. That's not a joke. I read plenty of articles that told me you don't sleep better if you're drinking and subsequently asked myself blindly, "WHY AM I NOT SLEEPING?!" Duh. I used to take tylenol PM like it was going out of style. Now, I take my melatonin and sleep like a damn baby. It's amazing.

4. The "More Time" theory

I'm torn on this one because the idea that I have more time is somewhat unconscionable. With the number of kids we have, I consider it a good day if we end up with the correct 4 in our house by bedtime. "Whoops, the Smith kid got home with us instead of Will! Better call 'em to swap."  I will admit that I now actually find time to do the things that needed done. I have also been more productive on weekends, even allowing myself time to "do nothing."
Yes, I plan time to do nothing, otherwise I'll never get nothing done.

5. You'll lose people?
I've read so many articles warning that you will lose many, many friends on the road to sobriety. My experience is that people have actually came out of the woodwork. Not only are people supportive, they're downright friendly. When it comes to friends, I live by the principle of "quality over quantity." It's my way of saying that I'm okay with having like 6 friends because my friends aren't dicks. They're awesome. I subject my friends tirelessly to my sarcasm and bluntness. They are hardened. Being my friend is not always easy. If they have survived this long, I know I have found good ones. So there was no weeding out necessary. That was done long ago.
Not one time has any of the people I know tried to argue with me after I turned down a drink. Hell, even people I don't know haven't argued with me. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I like to think it's my innate desire to hang around people who don't suck.
As for my family, they are always supportive. I could probably murder someone and they'd be like "well, she probably had a good reason." Kidding. Kind of.

6. I can't have fun without it!
Alcohol has this funny way of making you think you need it to make life tolerable. While I agree that some situations would be much, much more tolerable [*ahem* Christmas] while intoxicated, it isn't the most effective way to go about life. The key for me was to accept that I had to do some hard things. That's it. Life is hard sometimes. And you just have to push through. It sounds simple, but it's not. Feeling things that hurt is not enjoyable. Being sad is not enjoyable. But with all of those things, you also get to actually feel the GOOD things. And that makes up for it! Alcohol dulls your senses, including the good ones. So yeah, you get to forget about the bad, but you also forget about the good. You don't get to feel the magic in the super-sqeezy hug from your 3 year old. You don't fully appreciate your daughter telling you 'I love you' out of the blue. You don't get to revel in a Netflix marathon of Scandal with your husband because you fall asleep halfway through [full disclosure..this happens sober sometimes].

I was honestly under the impression that I could. not. live without alcohol in my life. Look at me now, guys. I'm here. Living. Officially proving myself wrong.

So I hope this opened things up a bit. I know it's weird to talk about, but it's part of my life now. A big part. I finally feel in control, which is something I couldn't say three months ago. More to come regarding life, my crazy beautiful kiddos, and everything else.

Peace out, homies.