Today I had a revelation. It stems not from ego or vanity, but from a place of true realization.
Today I discovered that my time is valuable.
I can't put a dollar amount on it. I'm not the President of the United States. I'm not even the type of person who sees someone she knows at the grocery store when I go shopping.
I'm not claiming to be a big deal.
But I am a mom. I keep two kids alive on a daily basis. I'm a business owner. I'm the person who keeps our household running. I'm an office manager. I do a lot of shit that may not be important to some people, but it is important to others. And that means something to me.
Let's rewind to the event that led to this stunning epiphany:
an eye appointment.
Yep, you read that right.
As I sat waiting in the lobby 30 minutes after my [according to the receptionist] five minute appointment was scheduled, my ears started releasing steam.
Five minutes. This appointment will take five minutes. And I've been sitting here for 30.
It was only after sitting in the exam room for an additional 20 minutes that I came to the aforementioned conclusion:
My time is way too valuable for this shit.
I sat there, seething, making a list of things I could be doing instead of waiting in that wood-paneled room:I could be catching up on office work I didn't get done yesterday.
I could be folding the laundry that I ran before I left because both of my kids peed through their diapers last night.
I could be in my pajamas, nursing the cold that I just came down with.
I could be reading a book to my daughter.
I could be editing photographs on my computer.
I could be updating Quickbooks.
I could be paying bills.
I could be doing literally anything other than sitting in this effing exam room waiting for a doctor to decide I was important enough to be next in line.
Don't get me wrong, I know doctors have a lot of things going on. Hell, I know anyone who works has a lot of things going on. But so do I. And that office made me realize just how vital time is.
Because life is short.
Because I want to spend time with my kids while they don't hate me.
Because I like getting things done.
Because sitting in a dingy Optometrist's office isn't something I enjoy doing.
Because my time is important, too.
This isn't really about the doctor's office making me wait. I'm used to that after being pregnant twice. I spent a majority of 9 months at the Doctor. I get it.
This is about me realizing that what I do, though it's not rocket science and I'm not necessarily changing the world, is important to some people. Just because I'm not out solving world hunger doesn't mean what I do doesn't matter.
And I wanted to say it to anyone reading this because I'm guessing you don't realize how much you matter, too. Moms or Dads who stay at home with their kids, Grandparents, college students struggling to figure out their life, working moms and dads, single folk, hormonal teenagers who hate everything - you all matter to someone. It's a powerful thing to realize, and it's important that you do.
There are a lot of days when I feel like all I get done is changing shitty diapers and cleaning up messes my toddler made. Those days suck.
But they still matter.