Thursday, September 11, 2014

9 random facts about me

I've never been one to hold back about things, but we all have our little secrets...

Confession #1: I don't read to my kid every day.
Doctors recommend that you read to your infant from the time they're conceived. That was all good and fine when we were two eager parents to be and our way of preparing was to read to our kid who likely heard us talking like the voice from the lady on the phone in Charlie Brown. "Waa wa wa. WA." But now I have a crawling 9 month old whose attention span rivals that of a squirrel on crack. Not to mention the sixteen loads of laundry, house cleaning, eyebrow plucking, dinner making I have to do. Yeah, I'll read my kid 6 books a day. It's that easy!
We do try to read at least once a day, typically two books at a time because the board books we read have a total of 8 words in them so it doesn't take long.

Confession #2: Sometimes I take home leftovers and then eat them immediately when I get back home.
Because I'm sitting with people who eat like birds or it's a business meeting and I don't want to eat my whole plate and look like a fatty. But when I get home I'm still hungry. I eat those leftovers like it's nobody's business. No shame.

Confession #3: I only wash my hair twice a week.
This totally grosses out my mom and probably 95% of the people reading this, but before you go all "ewwww!" on me, it's for good reason. Technically, people with long hair [or really just hair] shouldn't wash their hair more than once a week. No joke. I've done a lot of research. It's bad for your hair. And it's a waste of shampoo. I just started this twice a week ritual last month in an effort to get my hair to a more healthy state [pregnancy did a number on my locks]. At first it got really greasy after day 2 or 3, so I invested in some ballin' dry shampoo which helped combat the..err...grossness. Now after a few weeks my scalp has adjusted and I no longer look like a homeless person midway through the week. Proof:
Haven't washed my hair since Sunday, yo. Boom!
I've also stopped using a flat iron, curling iron and blow dryer. Basically I'm halfway to being Amish.

Confession #4: I take at least 75 pictures of my child every day.
This probably isn't a huge surprise to you guys, but I take a lot of pictures of my kid. Because she is just so damn cute.
Here are just a few I've taken from the last 60 hours:
Here's Addi being cute in a colorful outfit. 
Here's Addi being cute while holding a giant lego.
Here's Addi being cute before eating.
Here's Addi being cute in an equally cute rocking chair while drinking milk.
Confession #5: My "filter" becomes thinner every day
You know how I say pretty much everything that comes to mind? I haven't always been this frank when it comes to telling it like it is. Don't get me wrong, I've always had what some people call an "attitude" and I've always been pretty blunt when I feel it's necessary, but I've found that my filter gets more loose with every day that passes. I don't know if it's because I get older every day and with age the ability to care about other people's opinions diminish, or just because I'm sick of sitting back and letting things happen around me when I get no say in the matter.
I believe in kindness and the power to change things by speaking up. I also believe that if people are dicks to you, you have the right to be one right back to them. This "get what you give" mentality probably wouldn't fly with like..Ghandi or Mother Theresa, but I'm willing to bet they spoke their minds without regret. I'm working on a happy medium. Preferably before my child starts school so I don't embarrass her horribly by shouting at her teacher for giving her a B in coloring.

Confession #6: I'm a sucker for chick flicks. And the Hallmark Channel.
As alike as we are, my sister has always loathed my choice in television entertainment. Can't say I blame her. I watch a lot of Rom Com's. Lately I try to stick to comedy, but I still love a good romantic drama once in a while.
When we were kids, it was a whole other form of torture for her; The Disney Channel. [Brink!]. Dun dun dun. 

Confession #7: I have wicked road rage.
I'm talking debilitating, my-husband-has-considered-committing-me type of road rage. I attribute it to all of the people who have HIT MY CARS. Those mother truckers have really done a number on my patience in a vehicle. I'm not a therapist, but I'm pretty sure it's a trust issue. People shouldn't suck so bad at driving.

Confession #8: I have to eat at scheduled times or I get seriously hangry. 
My close family and friends know this about me already because when we're out and the lunch hour approaches, I tend to get quiet and short, depending on the hour. I eat at set times every day. 8 am, for breakfast, between 11:15-12:45 for lunch, and between 6-7 for dinner. None of this "skipping meals" business. I'm a human and therefore require food to continue living. I've done the whole "only eat lunch" thing to try to lose weight when I was younger and that shit is for the birds. Literally. Only a bird could survive on that amount of food.
So yes, I am pretty much the guy in the snickers commercial who becomes a diva when he doesn't eat. I get teased for it, and I've accepted it as a really funny part of who I am. Don't mess with my food, yo.
Speaking of which:

Confession #9: I don't share food.
Seriously. I don't share food. Ever. I don't discriminate. Even if I love you dearly. Even if you're my best friend. Even if you're my husband. Even if you birthed me. I don't share food.
One exception to this rule has surfaced in the past 3 months, and that is my daughter. But that is out of sheer convenience.

So that's that. Random facts about Mallory. Please still be my friend.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Mallory! My name is Heather and I was wondering if you would be willing to answer my question about your blog! My email is Lifesabanquet1 AT gmail DOT com :-) I greatly appreciate it!


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