Monday, June 9, 2014

My big epiphany

I know all I do is talk about parenting now. And my kid. And post pictures of my kid. And talk about stuff relating to my kid.

I can't be sorry because this blog is about my life. And from now on, my daughter is my life. So that's what I like to talk about. Because she's - quite literally - all I think about now. Even if she's not with me, I'm always worrying if she's okay. Or if she's behaving. Or if she got a nap. Or if she's eating. Or if she has poop running up her back [it's happened more often than not since starting solids].

The other morning when I was getting ready for work, Matt randomly said something to me about the shots he had to give me during my pregnancy with Adelaide. And I had to think really hard about it.

"What did I have to get those for again?" I asked him.
"Progesterone, remember?"
"Oh yeah." I recalled. And it all came flooding back.

I have this really silly thing called PCOS, which I think I've mentioned before. And it was the cause of our initial 2-year failure to get pregnant. And when my little weasel decided she wanted to surprise the crap out of us, I had to get progesterone shots [progesterone runs low in us weirdos with PCOS] to make sure she was safe in there. Low progesterone often leads to miscarriage, so those with PCOS are particular susceptible to miscarriage due to their inherently low progesterone.

Anyway, like I said, all of this came flooding back. And I was remembering how absolutely miserable that time in my life was. As if the nausea and back pain and core pain and rib-kicking wasn't miserable enough, but I had to get a shot in my ass every day, which is about as pleasant as it sounds. Lest we forget my poor husband, who actually had to give me the shot. We teased that he actually enjoyed causing me pain, but I know that it probably hurt him more than it hurt me.

But I did it. Because I wanted to keep my daughter safe and growing and healthy. And at the time it seemed like the worst thing in my life. But now? Now, a year later, I had totally forgotten about it. So much that my husband had to remind me why I even had to get the shots in the first place!

This is all a metaphor, if you're not grasping that yet.

I have found in the 15 months since finding out I was pregnant, that parenting just moves from one challenge to the next. In early pregnancy it was the constant worry of progesterone and miscarriage rates, mid-pregnancy was growing tired of waiting, and late-pregnancy was pain in every part of my body, being even more tired of waiting. Then it was fear of the birth. And then fear of never sleeping. Ever again. And then RSV at 6 weeks. And possible milk allergies. And then reflux. And then an ear infection. And the list will grow as time goes on. But once the first one passes, the next one comes and you tend to forget about it.

This principle applies to all areas of our lives. Life throws curveballs our way every single day. Through parenting I've learned to just roll with it.

There are no surprises anymore, just new adventures.

I basically had a "holy shit I just figured out life" moment. And I feel like that's something I needed to share with you all. Take my wisdom and do with it what you wish.

I'll leave you with an adorable picture of my daughter to brighten your day. It's raining cats and dogs here, so I need a few of her smiles to keep the gloom at bay.

1 comment:

  1. I feel the exact same way - totally not sorry that my whole blog is about my baby, because like you said, my life revolves around him!


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