Thursday, June 6, 2013

the name game

Apart from growing a human being, I think the most difficult part of this entire process is going to be choosing a name. 
Just think about it - this kid has to live with your decision for the rest of their life. 
And if they hate their name, they hate you, too.
Just by default.
Because you're the one who picked the stupid-ass name.

So to me, those people who name their kid after Twilight characters or who rationalize naming their darling little girl Bathilda because "it's a family name," deserve to be loathed by their children. It's only fair.

And don't even get me started on the way people are spelling their kid's names nowadays. It seems like everyone is so hell-bent on making their child's name "unique," they will go so far as adding extra silent consonants just to make it seem "cool." 

"Yes, of course it makes perfect sense to spell the beautiful name Sarah with a silent 'x.'
Good luck with that, kid."

I've had names picked out for my kids since I was a kid myself. But ironically, I somehow stole them from myself in the form of naming my animals.
Dexter, Maggie, Lucy. 
All incredibly adorable names. And I screwed everything up by naming my frickin' pets with 'em.

I've been hesitant to tell people what our thoughts are on names for the wee one, but this way I figure if I get it out NOW, then any of my friends who get knocked up in the next few months can't steal them.
If they do, I will know. And they will be judged accordingly.
Plus, this is another of the popular questions I've been asked, but I left it out of my series to do an entire post.

So, without further ado -
drum roll, please......

Final answer:
William James
William - Grandfather's name [on mom's side], Brother's middle name. 
James - James Naismith. That's right. I will be naming our kid after the basketball GOD.
Potential Nicknames
Will. That's it. Not Bill. Not Billy. Not Willie. Just Will. *sidenote* If you call my kid Willie or anything that rhymes with or sounds like Willie, I will hunt you down and shit will get REAL.. 

Lily Jayne
Lily - This sounds weird, but I had a dog all throughout my childhood that I was incredibly attached to. And her name was Lillian (we called her Lilly or Lil), after the flower, "Lilly of the Valley." Plus, it's the name of Harry Potter's mom, so that's an added bonus. 
Jayne - Mom's middle name. And the spelling is awesome. I've always loved it. 
Potential Nicknames:
You can't really shorten Lily much more, but I'm sure we'll call her Lil once in a while. 

Harper Lee
Harper, Lee - Author, To Kill A Mockingbird, genuine womanly badass. 
Potential Nicknames:
This is my only problem with this name. There is no good nickname for it. I am a nickname person, so this matters. For instance, I tend to awkwardly call people by nicknames before I know them too well. You know that fine line where you feel comfortable enough with a person to refer to them like you're their buddy? That's the line I'm talking about it. And I'm familiar with it because if someone who doesn't know me very well calls me "Mal," it totally weirds me out. 

Adelaide Jayne
Adelaide - a name from one of my favorite Ben Folds songs. Plus, it's a classic old name. And it makes me happy. 
Jayne - been there, done that. 
Potential Nicknames:
Addie or Adi, however our kid wants to spell it is fine by me. There's not really any other good shortenings to this, but I'm sure some idiot in one of her classes will come up with something regretful. That kid will get the cookie in the birthday batch that I dropped on the floor while baking.

Each of these names have been checked for initials that might spell something inappropriate or could be a breeding ground for evil children making fun of my kid. They all pass the test. 

So, you kids get to help me out now. Give me your wisdom. Tell me your fave.  


  1. Poor Maximus Gluteus or Maxi Pad. You know my fave. "Hello Adelaide, on a plane far from the United States of L.A..."

  2. Though you'd think I wouldn't like that song since it discusses space..

  3. I actually like all three and your final boy's name, too! Just a have Jayne as a possible middle for two of them, what about Harper Jayne? This is very fun and exciting!

    1. Yes, I definitely like Harper Jayne!

  4. I've always said I would name my (potential future) girl Lily so I have to say that's my favourite but I'm also loving Harper.
    I think the nickname you'd get would be Harp which I oddly kind of like?


Thoughts? Love to hear 'em.