Thursday, June 27, 2013

Pregnancy is....

I love reading internet articles about pregnancy. It gets me all giddy for the little one and helps pass the time from 17 weeks to 40. 

I read the same articles over and over, pretending I didn't ever read them in the first place.
And then I come across shit like this and it brings it all back around.

Pay particular attention to the bottom paragraph labeled "Pregnancy Symptoms at 17 weeks." 
Now I'm not going to go into detail because that shit is gross, but I will let you in on a little secret I've learned [those of you who have birthed children already know this]: 

Pregnant women aren't necessarily cranky because of hormones,
they're cranky because they are constantly reading articles with the words "discharge, mucus, leakage, and breast pump" in them
because everyone is alllll up in their biznass. 

Can you imagine someone looking you in the face and saying "you really shouldn't be eating that"? 
That has happened to me multiple times now.
You guys know me well enough to realize it took a great deal of endurance during each of these instances for me to refrain from kicking the "sayer" in the face. 

On another note, the last sentence in the paragraph, "Rapid weight gain" followed by "you've probably gained about five to ten pounds by now" is somewhat inaccurate. By that I mean I've actually lost around 7 since I became pregnant. And I have yet to gain any. [I attribute it to lack of beer]

My doctor seemed unconcerned with this, saying it really just means I'm losing weight elsewhere. It's clear by my bump that the baby is growing. However, it does make me feel like a terrible hostess. I see in these posts that I'm supposed to have gained all this weight, and for once in my life, I can't. I eat as much as I should, though I don't overeat. It hurts my gut when I do that. But I suppose for now I just won't worry about it. I've got enough to worry about and not gaining weight seems like a good thing, right? As long as Sprout's growing, it is. 

I am counting down the days until our Sono next Wednesday so I can make sure scooter-butt is actually growing like he/she should be. I swear I felt him/her move last night, too!! 
I could also be crazy. 
It's a toss-up.

My sister and I are working on a list of "pregnancy is..." one liners that I'm sure will just delight the crap out of you guys. I will share when the list is complete, though it might take a few weeks, if not months. I'm sure new and interesting developments will come my way in the future. ;)

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