Friday, July 13, 2012

Trace Adkins & an Epiphany

Don't ask me why, but lately I've been on a country music kick. 
Like I've said before, I like all types of music, so it's not uncommon for me to switch around to 5 different radio stations throughout the day. 

This morning there was nothing but crap on my "favorite" station (97.5 - out of JC), so I turned it to my fav. country station. 
And this song comes on.

I'm listening
and I suddenly realize..
this is my life.
In a country song.

By the time I got to the office, I had tears in my eyes.
[Yeah, super deep way to start your Friday morning]
And it wasn't even because the song was sad, in typical country music fashion;
it was because it was so true.

[I cut out some of the choruses to make it shorter, hope you don't mind]
 -----------------------------------
She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you


You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this


Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby just slow down


Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says they don't bother me
I've got 2 babies of my own
One's 36, one's 23
Huh, it's hard to believe


But you're gonna miss this..
Trace Adkins, You're Gonna Miss This
-------------
I'm not one to quote lyrics on my Facebook page or elsewhere,
[I used to, but quickly realized it was just annoying]
but come on. 
COME ON. 
This song is so true.

I've said it before in one of my List posts, I often wish I could shake my 16-year old self and tell her to calm down and enjoy every single second.

Because before you know it, you'll be grown up and you're sure as hell going to miss it.

Not saying I hate my life or where I'm at right now; I love it.
The bills I'm not too fond of.
But I'm pretty sure I'm not alone there. 


These last few months have been a challenge.
Mentally and physically. 
And it's really, really easy to forget...why.

Why you're here.
Why you try.
Why you love.
Why you cry.
Why you laugh.
Why you work.
Why you drive.
Why you sleep.
Why you do anything.

It's easy to forget. 
But then, when you wake up one day
and finally remember why,
it all comes together.

I can't explain it
[and I believe me when I say I make it a point to try not to think so deeply]
but these last few months have been a bit of a dark time for me and, as a result, for my [poor] husband too.

So I've been on this reading binge lately to take my mind off things,
particularly with Nicholas Sparks novels.
[For those of you who think his novels are crap, keep it to yourself, because I love him. No, they're certainly not literary genius, but they're great reads and that's all I care about.]

I was reading The Best of Me and when I read this excerpt, I stopped and had an epiphany.
You know, those cheesy ones that you thought only ever happened in movies?
Yeah, it was that kind.

 I'll try to be vague, but the premise of this is Amanda's son had just been in a car wreck & had major surgery, almost not making it through..
'And as I...[I] saw his reaction and searched for the right words to reach him, to help him accept this new world he’d woken up to. “When I was waiting in the hospital for the last couple of days, do you know what I was thinking?” she began. “I was thinking that there were so many things that you still haven’t done, things you still haven’t experienced. Like the satisfaction of graduating from college, or the thrill of buying a house, or the excitement of landing that perfect job, or meeting the girl of your dreams and falling in love.” Jared didn’t show any signs of having heard her, but she could tell by his alert stillness that he was listening. “You’ll still be able to do all those things,” she went on. “You’ll make mistakes and struggle like everyone, but when you’re with the right person, you’ll feel almost perfect joy, like you’re luckiest person who ever lived.” She reached over to pat his arm. “And in the end, a [wreck] has nothing to do with any of those things. Because you’re still alive. And that means you’ll love and be loved… and in the end, nothing else really matters.”'
[Sparks, Nicholas (2011-10-11). The Best of Me (p. 276). Hachette Book Group. Kindle Edition.]
 
And 'wow' was all I could think.
So many truths crammed into one paragraph. 

Which, of course, made me realize that none of it matters.
The daily struggles, heart break, anger
none of it matters if you're just alive.

Still breathing.
Kissing your child.
Getting a text message from your sister.
High-fiving your husband.
Eating a piece of pizza.
Smiling.
Inside jokes with your mom. 
Laughing til it hurts.
Telling your grandma "I love you" on the phone.

Just living.


All of it.
That's why.

 I know.
And all because of a country song.
;)

4 comments:

  1. Beautifully said, Miss Mallory! You have a very special way of writing! I love reading your blogs and this one especially hit home with me. Having just experienced a MAJOR birthday that I wasn't too happy about, your words made me think! Thank you!

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    1. I'm so glad you liked it, DuAnn...it's always nice to hear that maybe some of my posts have a little bit of meaning to people! :)

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  2. Lovely post, Mallory! Can't wait to hear this song.

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    1. Thanks, Kari!! It definitely makes you think!

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