Monday, August 13, 2012

25 Ways to Be Happy in Marriage

I stumbled upon this article and just couldn't pass up sharing it with you guys.
This lady wrote this for a youngster she knew and cared for as a wedding gift. 
I think it's perfect.

1. Always put her first - before work, friends, even basketball. Act as if she's the best thing that ever happened to you, because we all know she is.
2. Keep no secrets. Pool your money. Allow nothing and no one to come between you.
3. Pick your fights with care. Play fair. Show some class. Hurtful words can be forgiven, but they're hard to forget.
4. Fall in love again every day. Kiss her in taxis. Flirt with her at parties. Tell her she's beautiful. Then tell her again.
5. Never miss an anniversary or a birthday or a chance to make a memory. Memories may not seem important now, but one day they'll be gold.
6. Never give her a practical gift. If she really wants a Shop-Vac, let her pick it out herself.
7. Go to church together, and pray every day for each other and your marriage.
8. Pay your bills on time and make sure you each have a living will, a durable power of attorney and life insurance, lest, God forbid, you need them.
9. Love her parents as your own, but don't ask them for money. Never criticize her family or friends. On her birthday, send flowers to her mother with a note saying, "Thank you for giving birth to the love of my life."
10. Always listen to her heart; if you're wrong, say you're sorry; if you're right, shut up.
11. Don't half-tie the knot; plan to stay married forever.
12. Never go to bed mad; talk until you're over it, or you forget why you were mad.
13. Laugh together a lot. If you can laugh at yourselves, you'll have plenty to laugh about.
14. Never criticize, correct or interrupt her in public; try not to do it in private either.
15. Remember that people are the least lovable when they are most in need of love.
16. Never fall for the myth of perfectionism; it's a lie.
17. When you don't like each other, remember that you love each other; pray for the "good days" to return and they will.
18. Tell the truth, only the truth, with great kindness.
19. Kiss at least 10 seconds a day, all at once or spread out.
20. Memorize all her favorite things and amaze her with how very well you know her.
21. Examine your relationship as often as you change the oil in your car; keep steering it on a path you both want it to go.
22. Be content with what you have materially, honest about where you are emotionally, and never stop growing spiritually.
23. Never raise your voice unless you're on fire. Whisper when you argue.
24. Be both friends and lovers; in a blackout, light a candle, then make your own sparks.
25. Finally, be an interesting person, lead your own life. But always save your best for each other. In the end, you will know you were better together than you ever could've been apart.
Here's to happily ever after.

Okay, so I love this. 

There are days I want to strangle my husband.
I know there are days when he wants to do the same to me.
 But all in all, every day we're together just cements another brick on our bond.

Even the fighting makes us stronger.
And I know you're not thinking "fighting means you're unhappy." 
You're fooling yourself if you think that.
If people didn't fight, they would literally explode.
 You can't have a truly happy marriage if you don't disagree.
If that were case, you'd just be a robot.
No one wants to live with a robot.
 Or be married to one, for that matter.

We fight.
We bicker.
We yell.
But we also laugh.
A lot.
And high five.
A lot.
And there's quite a bit of hugging that goes on.
[Not all on my accord.
The hubs likes a good hug.]

It's weird looking back, knowing how far we've come.
How our relationship has transformed into a marriage.

When we were first married it just felt like...well, it's official. 
It was scary, I'm not going to pretend it wasn't. The thought of only being with one person for the rest of your life is daunting. [no guys aren't the only ones who freak about that]
Never having those first date jitters, first kiss, dating, flirting - all that fun stuff was out the door.

As the years have progressed and I've grown as a person, I've come to realize that the firsts we will have [or have had] together are far more significant than any first date could be.
first house
first joint account
first kid
first dog
first car
first loan
first grandchild
first significant loss
 first anniversary
When you think about it, I feel silly for even thinking that those other things even mattered.
How could having your first child even compare to those first date butterflies? Holding our child for the first time - that is going to be a feeling that is absolutely indescribable. Butterflies totally just lost out.

I'm proud of how far we've come. I honestly didn't know that we could get to this point.
Knowing that you absolutely, positively, could not even breathe without having this other person beside you in life is mind-numbing. 

It's overwhelming, actually,
knowing that.

I'm aware that we're not the type of people who are constantly gushing on about one another, but we don't have to be.
That's the best part. 
We know.

And that's all I need.


  1. Ya just made me tear up at work! I just love this post and that list!

  2. Very nice. And from an old married lady. You don't know what you got til it's gone....I think that's a song too. Thanks Mal!


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